Easter Feaster
Thursday, April 4, 2002 :: 1:23 a.m. :: link

:: About this time every year, I am reminded of Easter's sweet, jaw-dropping miracle. And that is this: On Monday, the day after, stores slash leftover holiday candy prices 50 percent!

Shouting "Amen! Amen! And zippety doo dah!" I backed my pickup onto the sidewalk, carefully rolling it to a halt at the Bi-Lo's front door. I meant to do some business.

Sack Boy Walter and Assistant Manager Day Shift Lurleen assumed their positions as I strutted into the marketplace. They tallied my purchases while I tossed multi-colored packages of caramel eggs, jelly beans, and brand name confections over the tailgate. My, oh, my, the Lord's great bounty! Nutty and nougatty visions were scattered high and mightily on the truck bed, surrounding cases of chocolate bunnies and marshmallow poultry.

But, at these savings, who cared?

Final cost: $137.57. Not bad, when you consider I saved $137.57.

Well, that is, if you don't add in the $16,988 for the Dodge Ram I was forced to buy to tote it all home. ::

:: Current mood: bloated and bloated.
:: Current music: wrap. The sound of wrappers, tearing into Krackle.


Copyright ©2002 Mike Durrett. All rights reserved. I want a book deal, dammit.