Mike's Web Humor Blog

The Funny Site of the Day -- ''Dr. Strangemitten's plan of introducing nougat-filled Shrunken Heads as this year's newest Halloween treat has gone awry,'' explains the comically creepy briefing for a match-the-colors challenge. "An unfortunate series of events has caused his Head Shrinker 5000 to go berserk. Nougat-filled Shrunken Heads are multiplying at an alarming rate and no one is around to stop it. Help the Doctor before these tiny troublesome heads overflow the pit and reap havoc."

Gee, I'd been living under the impression nougat-filled heads were a good thing, but I'll play along with this glossy, although not exactly grossy, arcade game from the big kids at Kewlbox. As far as laughs go, there aren't many to be found. The spooky noises and my rapier-like skills of gravity amused me during competition, however.

And while I'm bragging, I scored high, which was expected. I'm self-taught in nougat.

Play: Dr. Strangemitten's Shrunken Heads - Combat online or toss free PC and Mac downloads into your trick-or-treat computer.
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Shrunken Heads game image courtesy of Kewlbox.

The Funny Site of the Day -- During my happ'nin' curly-haired, mustachioed youth, imagine my chagrin when folks mistook me for TV's Gabe Kaplan and I wasn't wearing a costume. Now, you can feel my pain with an actual Welcome Back Kotter look-alike kit. Or be Chuck Gong Show Barris, Robert Baretta Blake, "Tattoo," the Village People biker, Atari's Asteroid Game, Rubik's Cube, and others.

It's a classic Halloween article with special thanks to RetroCRUSH for reopening my wounds.

Repel in Horror: The Worst Halloween Costumes of All Time
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Pictured: Good Halloween costumes! It can be done! Photo by David Bohrer / The White House via Getty Images.

The Funny Site of the Day -- The New York Times says Tom Arma is "the most published baby photographer in the world."

At his site, numerous collections of adorable infants dressed in masquerade costumes are displayed. Click the thumbnail snapshots to see larger images of the Baby Birds, Imaginary Safari, Fruity Cuties, Baby Bugs, Kiddens, Water Babies, Please Save the Animals, Jingle Babies, Funny Farm, Little Grown-Ups, Zodiac Babies, Mamiferos, and Diapersaurs exhibits.

View: Tom Arma's Costumed Babies Photo Galleries
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Photo: Not sure if this is a Tom Arma costumed baby, but it gives you the idea. Credit: Photodisc / Getty Images.

The Funny Site of the Day -- An ongoing mission to present the nut-worthy noteworthies from the online flea market known as eBay. Says the weird eBay lister, "You'll find descriptions of some of eBay's most original, creative and just plain weird auctions."

Check it out. I've got to hurry and bid on these actual items. Christmas will be here before we know it....

• Used Boobs
• Michael Jackson's Nose
• Bag of Cat Hair
• Used Outhouse, Two-Seater
• Sasquatch on Toast
• Fart in a Jar
• Sandwich Bag With a Hole
• Antique Glass Eyes
• A Packing Peanut
• Slightly Used Body Bag
• Haunted Midol Bottle

View: Weird eBay Listings
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Michael Jackson photo by Dave Hogan / Getty Images.

The Funny Site of the Day -- I telecommute from home, so I don't have to test my stress. I'm angry all of the time AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!

Dumb cat.

Fix your own lunch.

AND TURN OFF THAT BELL INSIDE THE LITTLE BALL, WILL YA? I'M WORKING HERE!!

Dumb cat.

Sheesh.

But, if I were employed at an office environment, I'd be much more relaxed. Here, I'll show you...

Cubicle Freakout is an online stress analyzer to determine how you cope in the workplace. There's a time limit for you to demonstrate the level of your rage, loathing, euphoria, or suck-upiness, suck-up.

Click on the gent, the computer monitor, or the various objects on his desk in whatever fashion you deem suitable. You are being watched -- probably by a [dripping sarcasm] boss [/dripping sarcasm] -- and you will be scored.

I took the test, presented by Eyegas, moments ago. My results:

Rating: Nutter. Take the rest of the day off. The Internet has told you to.

Score for Destruction: 60%
Score for Throw Distance: 100%
Overall Score: 80%

See, I'm feeling better already.

Dumb cat.

Test Stress: Cubicle Freakout
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_{Photo credit: Digital Vision / Getty Images}

The Funny Site of the Day -- Recently aired episodes of the FOX prime time television line-up are made available for free viewing in your computer. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

Among the comedies and humorous dramas currently on the menu: The Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, 'til Death, MADtv, Bones, House, King of the Hill, and Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?

Man, life just gets better.

Watch: FOX on Demand
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_{Pictured: The Simpsons creator Matt Groening and, hey, it's the Simpsons! Photo by Michael Buckner / Getty Images.}

The Funny Site of the Day -- HyperQuake presents a challenging online Halloween game. From the roof of the high-rise, fling goodies into the tricks-or-treats bags of the kiddies strolling the streets below. Bombs away!

Beware: Incoming Snickers!

Play: Candy Toss
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_{Photo credit: Mark Wilson / Getty Images.}

The Funny Site of the Day -- Andrew Bell has issues. Fortunately, he works them out with pencil and paper for his daily exhibits of strange illustrations. Andrew says, "most of the drawings you see here on the site are first sketched out in a notepad, a sketch pad, on a napkin, shaved into a small animal, or sketched in the snow with urine or blood (occasionally my own)."

Well, that's good; at least, there's nothing weird.

See hundreds of creatures from his head in a massive, ghastly gallery of goons, extra creepy for Halloween.

View: The Creatures in My Head
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The Funny Site of the Day -- Says The Washington Post Writers Group, all agog:

"The YouTube generation meets Seinfeld in It's All About You, a new daily and Sunday comic strip by Tony Murphy. 'The strip’s title is sort of a joke in itself,' says Murphy. 'It’s really all about me. But to the extent that you can relate to it, it’s all about you, too.'

"Murphy’s persona in the strip is a caffeine-craving neurotic named Michael who is in a long-term, pre-marriage relationship with his well-balanced, herbal-tea-drinking girlfriend," Gina. ... They "frequent a local café where the barista, Chris, is the coffee counter therapist for all his self-involved customers. Chris listens (or pretends to listen) to patrons like Gina’s friend Maggie, who is addicted to self-help books, and Maggie’s father, Alex, who rationalizes away his failure to follow a diet or go to the gym. Another patron is Michael’s software-company cubicle-mate, Albert, who is also Michael’s sounding board for his relationship with Gina and his laundry list of hang-ups."

Today's espresso episode and a recent archive are available at the syndicator's site and GoComics.

Read: It's All About You | via GoComics
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_{Photo ©2008 Mike Durrett, licensed to About.com, all rights reserved.}

The Funny Site of the Day -- If pets could verbalize, they'd say, "Feed me" or "Feed me." But, if you fancy substantial dialogue with an animal wagging its tongue in your's (eww!), then this online tool is a treat.

Upload a pet's photograph or pick a reasonable facsimile from the provided images. Next, choose a prepared message or type in dictation. Select a suitable background, like a park, the beach, or a flowerbed, add accessories (sunglasses, bandana, snorkel, etc.), and email the manimal to yourself and friends. The talented pet will blabber out loud for all to hear (and the subliminal message is "Feed me").

How cool is that? OK, toss yourself a yummy.

Fetch: Talking Pets
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_{Photo: Morty says Daddy is watching TV again instead of working. Snitch. Credit: Via Talking Pets, cat element ©2008 Mike Durrett, licensed to About.com, all rights reserved.}